28 weeks

I am now in my third trimester! 

I saw my Doctor a few days ago. I had a follow up ultrasound to check the cord. I have velamentous insertion of the umbilical cord. Which is fine as long as it doesn't run near the cervix which mine doesn't. He is going to do another ultrasound in 6 weeks and a few non-stress tests as I get closer just to be cautious but he is very optimistic that I can go full term with no problems.  I measured at 27 1/2 inches, right on schedule but the baby measured 10 days ahead of schedule on the ultrasound. So obviously the placenta is working just fine. (hopefully it's not just a big head)

I am feeling pretty good so far. I am tired but it's not the baby who pitter patters into my room in the middle of the night. My back bothers me most on days that are busy when I do a lot of running around, but the physical therapy and exercises are helping. I do get heartburn but it doesn't stop me from eating whatever sounds good even if it is onions or something acidic. I never was very big with my first pregnancy. But in these last two weeks I have really grown a lot in size. I am even starting to get "cankles" AHH!! It's almost impossible to rest and put up my feet between chasing my 3 year old, working, and getting ready for Christmas. My wedding ring is starting to feel a little tight too. Hopefully I don't continue to swell.

My life is going to change a lot in the next few months. I am going to quit working and stay home full time with my two little boys. I am really looking forward to this. Chief is coming up on age 4 so it will be nice to be more flexible with my schedule for preschool and activities for him. I am happy to think of being with the new little one all the time without having to worry about pumping milk or depending on someone else to keep him on schedule or care for him. I feel like I am now entering a whole new "mothering" stage. I have always wanted to be a mom and this is my time to really make it my priority and enjoy it as much as I can. I feel so blessed.

100

Only 100 more days to go!

Pregnancy

I am now twenty-five weeks along. I feel a lot of movement every day and especially at night when I lay down. He kicks and kicks like crazy which I feel most often on the bottom left side of my stomach. This morning I was woken up at 5 by chief and could not go back to sleep. As I had been laying there for a while I started to feel a lot of movement. I put my hand on my stomach and enjoyed the moment. Then came a body part sticking out of my half circle stomach. I guess it is starting to get a little tight in there. I had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am so lucky and blessed to be pregnant and have the experience of being a mother. What a miracle it is. I want to savor these moments and yet at the same time I can hardly wait to meet the little guy.

Cravings

Last pregnancy I wanted eggs any style ALL THE TIME. I do still want and like scrambled eggs late at night when I feel hungry, luckily my husband is nice and always makes them for me when I ask. But with this pregnancy I want most everything I see or hear about eating. We watched a TV show where they were eating spaghetti, guess what we had for dinner the next night... spaghetti. I do seem to really like onions right now, especially red onions on sandwiches so I am hitting up Kneaders a lot for lunch. I am also liking salty things and garlicky stuff. I was craving garlic bread twists from The Pizza Factory so we have picked them up twice this week. The other thing that I want is the Chef salad from Ligori's. So yummy with chunks of ham and pepperoni, cheese, green peppers and the best ranch dressing ever. It is making my mouth water just thinking about it. Notice I am listing foods to pick up and eat so I don't have to make them myself. I have been terrible about cooking lately. Maybe someday soon I will start a better dinner routine.

Boy oh Boy!

I had my big ultrasound today. It's a boy! My husband had a hard time seeing the body parts so finally the tech got a great shot in between the legs and there is no doubt. We are so excited. My boys will be just shy of four years apart so I already have a lot of boy clothes in the correct season and now they will have a buddy to do boy things with!

It was so fun to see him moving around and kicking. He kept bringing his right hand up to his face but we couldn't tell if he was putting it in his mouth. He measured at 9 ounces and 6 1/2 inches.

The ultrasound went well. There is a little concern because the last third of the placenta is not fully covered with tissue and umbilical cord. They are NOT diagnosing it as vasa praevia BUT they are going to watch a little closer and do another ultrasound in 8 weeks to check it again. My doctor is very reassuring that he just wants to be cautious and expects everything to be fine.

Here is a picture of the little guy:

I have been feeling well for about two weeks. I made the mistake of taking my vitamins in the morning and threw up during lunch. I won't do that again.

I've got a feeling

I felt the baby move for the first time on October 5 (18 weeks). It was a fluttery feeling across my stomach. Now everyday I feel it moving around, kicking, turning, doing whatever it does in there.

For Sale

Maybe I have hit the nesting stage because I have this urge to get rid of furniture and items I have been holding on to in an attempt to clear out my house. Thank you KSL classifieds.

Belly

I had five people at work say something like "Wow! Your belly has popped out" so I must be really showing. (14 weeks)

How is it that I am feeling worse this week ? I was hoping to start feeling better but the nausea and throwing up has increased dramatically.

11 weeks

Today I saw my famous OB Dr. Terry. He and his nurse Cyndee were so excited for me to be pregnant and made the visit so fun. He used an old ultrasound he had for a sneak preview. It is amazing how much has changed in 5 weeks. The baby was kicking like crazy and punching it's arms the whole time, so fun to see. I measured exactly on schedule with the original due date of March 11. I can hardly wait.

Something In The Air

I'm feeling OK most of the time. Not ever really great, but OK.  My routine right now is to eat a small breakfast right when I wake up just to get something in my stomach. Then about an hour later I need a second breakfast to really fill up my belly and then I can usually just snack until lunch. Once I eat a good lunch I feel better until about 5 or 6 pm then the queasiness hits me again.

I am still super tired and haven't done any yard work for over a month. I do try to keep the house somewhat clean but really it is the last thing I want to do. I have figured out though that keeping up on dishes are a must. One morning I was doing dishes that were left out from the night before. The dried up food on the plate was hard to handle. I tried to soak it and scrape it off looking the other way and holding my breath but it still got to me and it did not end well.

Smells are hard. For about a week now I can hardly stand to be in any bathroom because it smells overwhelmingly like "toilet water." The worst was when someone left a dirty diaper in the garbage can at work. I had to ask a fellow employee to remove it for me so I could walk down the hall without gagging. One day I made the mistake of putting leftover bread ends in a grocery bag in the pantry (I usually keep my bread in the fridge) with the intention of taking my little boy to a local park to feed the ducks. I forgot all about it and so for a few days I would gag every time I opened the pantry door and was so puzzled as to why it smelled. Finally I was brave enough to hunt down the source of the problem. I found the bread in the bag. It was perfectly fine but it just had a warm bread smell that I didn't like. We went to the park that very night.

There was another incident at work when I had to excuse myself from my patient so I could run to the bathroom and throw up. Not a good day.

It's official that the pregnancy sickness is here. I am no longer "just" dry heaving and gagging. I am now throwing up. (7 weeks)

6 week ultrasound

We saw and heard the heartbeat of the little baby 1/4 of an inch long, the size of a Lentil. 

This made it all more real and exciting to be pregnant!

Blah

So far I have been super tired, having to pee all the time, and quite tender in my breasts. But all of a sudden on week 5 day 5 I woke up with that blah feeling and my mouth started to water and I felt like throwing up. I made my way to the kitchen to get food which helped and did fine for the next few days with regular waves of nausea.  But this morning was a different story. I still didn't throw up, I just dry heaved for a good 5 minutes. Not fun. But I won't complain too much I am still so elated just to be pregnant.

The Verdict

I went in on Wednesday for a blood test but due to a lack of communication between the lab and the clinic I did not get the results until Friday. It was torture.Wednesday evening I called the office and a scheduler just said "I will have them call you tomorrow with the results." Which I took as bad news and was immediately in a bad mood (to put it lightly) I was worried and thinking to myself of course I am not pregnant. Then at work on Thursday instead of letting me take a call they asked to take a message. I was livid. I hardly ever give out my work number and this was an important call. But, it turns out they were just calling to tell me they had no results and no response from the lab. So I called the lab, then the main office, then they transferred me to another department and they said they would fax over the results. It was a mess and it was closing time for the clinic. I had to wait until morning for the results. I didn't quite trust the first tests I took and I was dying to have some kind of clue so Thursday evening I took another home pregnancy test, just to see. This time the line was pretty strong. I was so happy, elated, joyful, and in a great mood. The best part was hearing my husband give thanks to our Heavenly Father during our family prayer that night and asking for a blessing of strength and health for me and the baby.

I had a second blood test on Friday and received the results today, Saturday. My first number was 86 which sounds a little low but is fine for such an early test. Then the second number was 243, definitely double! I am positively PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!

I Walk The Line

I just couldn't wait to take a pregnancy test. I was supposed to wait until Friday but did one Tuesday night instead. It is just too tempting when the words on the box say "test 5 days sooner" So I did, and hallelujah there was a very faint line. I literally jumped up and down with glee. Then I told my husband and asked if I should take another. We decided to wait until morning. I seriously had a hard time sleeping. I was waking every 45 minutes to check the clock. Finally at 5:45 I jumped out of bed and took a test to find another faint line. I still have reservations about it being true, it seems too easy (and by easy I mean spending just under $7,000 and only taking 2 1/2 years compared to spending over $20,000 and taking 5 years like last time). I called the clinic and had a blood test drawn and now I am waiting for the results.Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Sleepy

I am usually real tired for two days after an IUI but this is the sixth day I have felt desperate for a nap. Not just feeling like a nap would be nice, but feeling like I will fall asleep standing so I may as well give in and lay down for "quiet time."

Cross your fingers

So today was the day for another Superovulation IUI. I had all the usual symptoms but not as much bloating as last time. I really hope I don't have to go back to the fertility clinic ever again.

Day 10

Today at my ultrasound my lining was still thin, only 5.9 but I had four good follicles. The doctor asked if I was worried about twins.  I replied "No, one less pregnancy". He doesn't know that I have been sending subliminal messages to my body and mind that I WILL GET PREGNANT (with twins). Of course I would be so happy just to be pregnant and have one baby, but two babies would definitely be a bonus.

HCG shot tonight, hopefully for the last time.

That will be 230 dollars, please

Every time I go in for an ultrasound I pay $230. And with the superovulation I get to go in for at least three ultrasounds a cycle. Then the drugs cost a little over $300 and the actual procedure is another $350. It is expensive to do this month after month. I am broke and tired.

At my ultrasound today my lining was very very thin. They put me on estrogen for a few days while I do the gonal F shots to hopefully help it thicken up.  

I think after this cycle I may need a break, a real one.

Late

I was running late. Again. I know in my mind I am aware that it really takes 40 minutes to get to the doctors office but I didn't leave my house until 20 minutes before my appointment. Is it maybe a subconscious rebellion because I don't really want to be spending my time (or money) at the fertility clinic? And because I am late it takes even longer to be seen by the doctor. I don't blame him for that. But it means I am sitting in the freezing cold room for a long time while I again think to myself that I need to start bringing socks to wear. 

I am a having a lot more cramping today than usual. I am usually feeling much better on day 3 (aside from a headache) but today I feel as crampy and bloated and blah as if it is day 1. Of course I start to think of possible reasons why ... another cyst, an ectopic pregnancy... But really it's probably just another crappy day during my period and I am so sick of it. It's been one of those days when I knew I was being mean but didn't care. I had no patience with my little boy and patience is required to have a good day with a three year old especially in the middle of potty training. Thank goodness he was being a sweetheart. Somehow we both made it through. 

The news from the doctor is not going to help lift my mood. The ultrasound went fine; lining 3.5, five follicles on my left side and four on my right. But after checking my chart he said "So this is the third super-ovulation?" to which I replied "yes." He then went on to recommend that if it doesn't work this cycle that I should really consider Invitro. 

Ugh!

Negative

I have had a few days here and there of light cramping, but was still hopeful because I also had a few days of tenderness in my breasts. But a negative pregnancy test was the result so I stopped taking the progesterone pills and two and a half days later I started my cycle.

I am finding that even though I have wanted to be pregnant for a long time now, I recently have had serious baby bump envy. Everywhere I go I see cute pregnant women and long to have that pregnancy bump under my shirt. Right now I just have a fat bump I try to hide so no one asks if I am pregnant. I really have gained about five pounds in the last few months and it all seems to be settling in my stomach. I am blaming it on the hormones and injectable drugs.

IUI round 3

We had a late night with friends the night before so our 9:20 appointment seemed to come real soon. We grabbed a Maple Bar from my favorite donut shop in between appointments and ran a few errands before heading back. The procedure seemed to be a little more painful this time. I think it is because I feel like my stomach is about to either explode or fall out of me. It is just SO FULL. I took it easy with a movie and a nap when we got home. Later I met my sister for light shopping and dinner. I was seriously walking a little funny and it was uncomfortable just to sit down. Such a weird feeling but it did finally start to alleviate about nine o'clock at night.

Crazy schedule

I called the Doctors office on Friday after I realized no one had ever called me back for my day 8 ultrasound. The receptionist transferred me to OB Ultrasounds 3 times. So, 3 times I had to say I am not currently pregnant, I am trying to get pregnant! The most frustrating part was when the receptionist snottily said "Didn't I just talk to you?" It took all the grace I could muster up to politely say "Yes, but I somehow keep getting connected to the wrong department." 

So for my appointment on Monday at 4, I dropped my son off at my husband's work and then rushed in. 

Not yet to the worst part. The clinic basically closed as I left my appointment heading to the pharmacy to pick up the prescriptions that they were going to call in for me, including the Gonal F that I needed to start that night. I get to the pharmacy, no record of any new RX so I call the office and talk to my not so favorite receptionist. She transfers me to the nurses who don't answer so I call again and talk to my not so favorite receptionist and she tells me to leave a message and they will call me tomorrow. Um, tomorrow is too late. I am supposed to start the drugs tonight. So she looks in my chart and says, Oh it looks like they called it in. OK thanks, hang up. I go to the pharmacist and tell them it has now been called in, but it hadn't. So the pharmacist called the clinic... no answer they are closed for the day. I was about to have a melt down when the pharmacist said she would just fill me new prescriptions according to my last cycle of drugs. Thank You! Someone who cares and is aware of the time sensitivity of it all. I started the Gonal F injections that night but must have still been feeling frustrated because I have a small bruise in that spot. I am getting flustered just writing about it all!

On Thursday (the day I work) I had another ultrasound for day 11. I rearranged my work schedule so I could have my ultrasound at 7:45 and then rush to work to start seeing patients at 8:50. I was feeling a little  hurried, but the ultrasound went fine. I have two size 13 follicles on the right and left side and the left also has a size 19. My lining was 6 point something. 

Instructions for HCG shot that night and to schedule an IUI for day 13.

Still

Day 5 started with a headache followed by hot flashes, bloating, and tiredness and didn't end until... wait I still feel all those things.

The Big Break

OK, so it was kind of nice to not go to the doctor or be on any meds for 26 straight days. But I did have  some major back aches and cramping on my right side for the first two days of my cycle, I could only hope it was that cyst deciding to leave.

So again, day 3 ultrasound but this time no cyst :)

Start Clomid

Seriously?

I had an ultrasound on day 3 to make sure everything was healthy and ready to start fertility meds again. But it's a no-go. I had a 4 cm cyst on my right ovary.

On the fifth day after the IUI there was some brown discharge followed by 4 days of cramping. Then I started my period on day 28. Ahh!

Progesterone

I am taking 100 mg of Prometrium 3x a day. It is making me so tired, a little nauseous, and I feel like I am hungry even after a full meal. 

Please work, Please

Today was my second Intra Uterine Insemination but this time we added the drugs into the mix. I have definitely had side effects: bloating like crazy, constant cramping, weight gain, orneriness, acne, and a headache I can't seem to get rid of. Hopefully it is all worth it.

Another Sunday morning appointment for another ultrasound on day 10. Lining 7.4 right follicle 23 and left follicle 18. I am feeling and look so bloated. 

Instructions for an HCG shot tonight

Some Like It Hot

I literally woke up wet and sweating Tuesday night from the blasted clomid. The hot flashes didn't really start until 48 hours after starting the clomid but then they came with a vengeance.

I finished the clomid (days 3-7) and went in for an ultrasound. I had low measurements for the lining 4.0 but a follicle size 18 on the right and a follicle size 13 on the left.

Instructions on how to inject 75 mg of Gonal F for the next few days.

Clomid, I dread you

Today is Day 3. The dreaded start of clomid 50 mg a day.

Long Shot

Started my period. I know it was a long shot to get pregnant, but even all this together would have been an easy process if it had just worked. Also, the test results of my egg quality came back and it does not look good. My AMH numbers are low, so low that the Dr. gave me a 2 - 16 % chance of getting pregnant again. Long shot indeed.

Artificial what?

Bright and early on a Sunday morning we head to the fertility clinic. I forgot how long the whole process takes. We did leave and eat breakfast between appointments. I had seen a sitcom that teased about how a woman was eating lemons in hopes of conceiving a girl. No idea if there is any truth to the wives tale, but I did order lemonade as my drink, just in case.

After the final procedure they say to lay on the table for 15 minutes. I wait 20, again just in case.

The Big Splash

Today I took a half day off of work for an ultrasound. I stayed calm and handled the pain as they inserted a catheter, inflated a balloon and shot saline through my tubes. Not the most fun appointment I have had, but not the worse either. The nurse said she would give me a pad at the end of the appointment because I will most likely have... leakage.  Um, I forgot and she forgot. 

To reward myself for being a trooper I drove through the best donut shop in town for a maple bar and headed to pottery barn for some window shopping. I was walking around the store when all of a sudden I had... leakage. I did a speed walk to the bathroom, checked out the wet spot on my behind, tried to do damage control, then quickly headed for the exit and home. Kind of embarrassing, but I don't think many people noticed and soon I can laugh about it.

The good news was I am day 11 and they saw a decent follicle so I am going back in for Artificial Insemination in three days.

So Special

I met with a new fertility specialist today. I am actually impressed. He was thorough, to the point, and had new insight. He did a quick physical exam to make sure he didn't find anything unusual and sent me for lab work to have the quality of my eggs checked which I don't remember ever having that done before.

Smears Tears

I had my annual exam and discussed with my favorite OB that I had been trying to get pregnant again for 2 full years. I will admit that for the first year of Chiefs life I was wishing to somehow become "surprisingly" pregnant. Then Chief turned two and even pretending to not to be in a rush wasn't fooling anyone, especially me. (sidenote: All of those people who tried to say that after my body got pregnant the first time, it would be easy to get pregnant a second time ...they were wrong.)

So there I was sitting on the paper-lined table talking about what steps to take and what specialist to see to help me with my problematic infertile body and all I could think was "I can't believe I am doing this again."

Here I go again

Is anyone else humming Whitesnake as they read this title? LOVE 80's music. Anyway, here I go again ... fertility treatments in an attempt to bear another child. I have a 3 year old miracle son and hope to have a few more miracles in my life. I am writing this blog as a journal to help me remember all of the good and even the bad. I will also be sharing some of my past experiences. I will try to be brutally honest and hope you will laugh, cry, and hope with me.