Late

I was running late. Again. I know in my mind I am aware that it really takes 40 minutes to get to the doctors office but I didn't leave my house until 20 minutes before my appointment. Is it maybe a subconscious rebellion because I don't really want to be spending my time (or money) at the fertility clinic? And because I am late it takes even longer to be seen by the doctor. I don't blame him for that. But it means I am sitting in the freezing cold room for a long time while I again think to myself that I need to start bringing socks to wear. 

I am a having a lot more cramping today than usual. I am usually feeling much better on day 3 (aside from a headache) but today I feel as crampy and bloated and blah as if it is day 1. Of course I start to think of possible reasons why ... another cyst, an ectopic pregnancy... But really it's probably just another crappy day during my period and I am so sick of it. It's been one of those days when I knew I was being mean but didn't care. I had no patience with my little boy and patience is required to have a good day with a three year old especially in the middle of potty training. Thank goodness he was being a sweetheart. Somehow we both made it through. 

The news from the doctor is not going to help lift my mood. The ultrasound went fine; lining 3.5, five follicles on my left side and four on my right. But after checking my chart he said "So this is the third super-ovulation?" to which I replied "yes." He then went on to recommend that if it doesn't work this cycle that I should really consider Invitro. 

Ugh!