That will be 230 dollars, please

Every time I go in for an ultrasound I pay $230. And with the superovulation I get to go in for at least three ultrasounds a cycle. Then the drugs cost a little over $300 and the actual procedure is another $350. It is expensive to do this month after month. I am broke and tired.

At my ultrasound today my lining was very very thin. They put me on estrogen for a few days while I do the gonal F shots to hopefully help it thicken up.  

I think after this cycle I may need a break, a real one.

Late

I was running late. Again. I know in my mind I am aware that it really takes 40 minutes to get to the doctors office but I didn't leave my house until 20 minutes before my appointment. Is it maybe a subconscious rebellion because I don't really want to be spending my time (or money) at the fertility clinic? And because I am late it takes even longer to be seen by the doctor. I don't blame him for that. But it means I am sitting in the freezing cold room for a long time while I again think to myself that I need to start bringing socks to wear. 

I am a having a lot more cramping today than usual. I am usually feeling much better on day 3 (aside from a headache) but today I feel as crampy and bloated and blah as if it is day 1. Of course I start to think of possible reasons why ... another cyst, an ectopic pregnancy... But really it's probably just another crappy day during my period and I am so sick of it. It's been one of those days when I knew I was being mean but didn't care. I had no patience with my little boy and patience is required to have a good day with a three year old especially in the middle of potty training. Thank goodness he was being a sweetheart. Somehow we both made it through. 

The news from the doctor is not going to help lift my mood. The ultrasound went fine; lining 3.5, five follicles on my left side and four on my right. But after checking my chart he said "So this is the third super-ovulation?" to which I replied "yes." He then went on to recommend that if it doesn't work this cycle that I should really consider Invitro. 

Ugh!

Negative

I have had a few days here and there of light cramping, but was still hopeful because I also had a few days of tenderness in my breasts. But a negative pregnancy test was the result so I stopped taking the progesterone pills and two and a half days later I started my cycle.

I am finding that even though I have wanted to be pregnant for a long time now, I recently have had serious baby bump envy. Everywhere I go I see cute pregnant women and long to have that pregnancy bump under my shirt. Right now I just have a fat bump I try to hide so no one asks if I am pregnant. I really have gained about five pounds in the last few months and it all seems to be settling in my stomach. I am blaming it on the hormones and injectable drugs.

IUI round 3

We had a late night with friends the night before so our 9:20 appointment seemed to come real soon. We grabbed a Maple Bar from my favorite donut shop in between appointments and ran a few errands before heading back. The procedure seemed to be a little more painful this time. I think it is because I feel like my stomach is about to either explode or fall out of me. It is just SO FULL. I took it easy with a movie and a nap when we got home. Later I met my sister for light shopping and dinner. I was seriously walking a little funny and it was uncomfortable just to sit down. Such a weird feeling but it did finally start to alleviate about nine o'clock at night.

Crazy schedule

I called the Doctors office on Friday after I realized no one had ever called me back for my day 8 ultrasound. The receptionist transferred me to OB Ultrasounds 3 times. So, 3 times I had to say I am not currently pregnant, I am trying to get pregnant! The most frustrating part was when the receptionist snottily said "Didn't I just talk to you?" It took all the grace I could muster up to politely say "Yes, but I somehow keep getting connected to the wrong department." 

So for my appointment on Monday at 4, I dropped my son off at my husband's work and then rushed in. 

Not yet to the worst part. The clinic basically closed as I left my appointment heading to the pharmacy to pick up the prescriptions that they were going to call in for me, including the Gonal F that I needed to start that night. I get to the pharmacy, no record of any new RX so I call the office and talk to my not so favorite receptionist. She transfers me to the nurses who don't answer so I call again and talk to my not so favorite receptionist and she tells me to leave a message and they will call me tomorrow. Um, tomorrow is too late. I am supposed to start the drugs tonight. So she looks in my chart and says, Oh it looks like they called it in. OK thanks, hang up. I go to the pharmacist and tell them it has now been called in, but it hadn't. So the pharmacist called the clinic... no answer they are closed for the day. I was about to have a melt down when the pharmacist said she would just fill me new prescriptions according to my last cycle of drugs. Thank You! Someone who cares and is aware of the time sensitivity of it all. I started the Gonal F injections that night but must have still been feeling frustrated because I have a small bruise in that spot. I am getting flustered just writing about it all!

On Thursday (the day I work) I had another ultrasound for day 11. I rearranged my work schedule so I could have my ultrasound at 7:45 and then rush to work to start seeing patients at 8:50. I was feeling a little  hurried, but the ultrasound went fine. I have two size 13 follicles on the right and left side and the left also has a size 19. My lining was 6 point something. 

Instructions for HCG shot that night and to schedule an IUI for day 13.

Still

Day 5 started with a headache followed by hot flashes, bloating, and tiredness and didn't end until... wait I still feel all those things.

The Big Break

OK, so it was kind of nice to not go to the doctor or be on any meds for 26 straight days. But I did have  some major back aches and cramping on my right side for the first two days of my cycle, I could only hope it was that cyst deciding to leave.

So again, day 3 ultrasound but this time no cyst :)

Start Clomid